Spring 2007

Spring at my house. Wish you were here. I love you.

Vietnam

About a month ago, I got my oil changed. While I was in the waiting room, I noticed a picture of a soldier in a rice paddy next to a framed citation of merit from the United States Congress. A letter of commendation to the soldier earning him a silver cross for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. While under heavy fire, and having been wounded himself, he crawled out from cover, saved his wounded Sargent, stopped the bleeding, dragged him back to safety. He risked his life. The guy in the picture was the owner of the station and the man changing my oil. Same look of determination. I was fascinated. Normally a Civil war person, this captured my attention.

No less than FOUR times that week was there a reminder of Vietnam. A friend showed me a bunch of pictures including one of her husband in uniform in 'Nam, then a couple other incidences, and then when the fourth one happened while I was talking to another secretary about her first job, she said, "that's when my husband was in Vietnam." I had to sit down. What was God trying to tell me? He had been speaking to me about agape love and how he wanted me to love my friends. "Would you risk your life like that?" and "I want you to love like that."
This is how He speaks to me.

The Balaam Incident

I believe that the Lord has been intervening in my life in some curious ways. Sometimes, it appears as though He just wants me to know that He's listening and He hears me. Other times, there is an important and personal message for me. This is one such incident where I think He was just saying "hi" and was actually playing with me and my friend Lorraine. I don't know what other message to get out of it.

One day while on her way to work, Lorraine called me at my desk. I get to work a few minutes before she does. She had something on her mind and couldn't wait the few minutes longer it took her to arrive at the office to tell me. Lorraine is an elder in her church and she kept wondering if the phrase that was going around in her mind came from the Lord and whether or not she was to incorporate it into her message on Sunday. She called to ask me if it might be in scripture anywhere and if not, what the origin of the saying was. The phrase was, "the more things change, the more they stay the same." No, Lorraine, that's not in scripture. It is a common saying in the culture because it means just that, sometimes the more effort there is to change, the more they don't really change. The company has been going through major changes recently.

A few minutes later, Lorraine arrived in the office and we greeted each other and further discussed quietly how this might fit into her sermon on Sunday, and then got to work. It seems as though it was only 20 minutes later that the boss, from deep inside her office yelled out at the top of her voice and while joking with someone else in her office, "THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME!!!" amid gales of laughter.

There is no way this boss could possibly have heard our discussion. We each flew out of our cubes and pointed to each other. "DID YOU HEAR THAT???" We could not believe what we heard. We have been referring to the boss as Balaam ever since, after the donkey that the Lord used to speak to His people. I'm still not sure what the message was. But it was as if the Lord tore the veil and poked through just to say "hi."

Although, since that day, there have been many changes and realignments in the company, we both still have our same jobs in our same cubicles.

Great day

It was a typical Tuesday. I got a great deal accomplished. I took a test last night online and I am pretty sure I did well. I checked online and found out that I got the best grades ever in my legal and ethical class. There is always something else to work on, but tonight I took a break with my daughter. We had a really nice dinner here and it was a beautiful day. I made a lot of people laugh and it's only Tuesday. Life is good.

Flare

Another class ended yesterday, Legal, Ethical and Moral class for counselors. It was a wonderful experience, and yesterday's class was the best with all of the projects and skits being presented. There was a lot of love in that course, and the professor gave his all. It was obvious that he finds so much joy in teaching, and the heart of this teacher recognizes that and loves it. I was able to sketch all day in class too and that was fun.

Because of yesterday's all day class and the preparation it took on Friday to get all of the reading and studying done for it, today, I am in a flare. It feels as though I have the flu. Total body ache and exhaustion. I am typing this in a semi-prone position. It is 10 AM and I don't know that I will be able to get anything accomplished today except to rest up for the work week.

I realized yesterday, that many of the people whom I am very close to do not realize the extent of the problem of this chronic disease. Since no one can really understand, I stopped explaining it. I don't want pity and I don't want to use it as an excuse.

This flare started on Thursday night. Today's pain is the worst I can remember in quite a while. I can hardly breathe it takes so much energy. I have to ask myself on days like this if I am not also sick with some other virus. I am never really sure. But I know I have expended a lot of energy recently, so it is probably just a flare.

I am hoping that typing about this and not whining to someone else will be helpful.