Goals

A gentle and quiet spirit means something different to me now than it has in the past. I really thought it meant quiet in general. I want my spirit to be calm, less stressed and more balanced in every area of my life. A quiet spirit is not anxious, and it attracts others to the same peace and the source of all peace. I want to be able to listen fully to people without hearing and feeling my own stuff because my own spirit will be quiet. I’ve become so aware of those self-centered thoughts and feelings that are so difficult to ignore while someone else is speaking. I imagine that it is a discipline that requires practice. Maybe it’s a matter of focused organization in the head. This is time for work, and this is time for relaxation; now it is time to listen; now it is time to reflect and pull my own stuff out. Putting thoughts aside is easier than setting feelings aside. I want less spillover in these areas. I have been assigned mentors and I have chosen mentors. I want to be able to copy and emulate what I see from them, borrowing at first, until those traits truly become mine. I have identified what I want.

I want to be a woman who is fully devoted to prayer, and have a passion for His Word, capable of beginning and ending each day meditating in that book or studying from it and knowing how to apply it. I want to be the woman that is more in love with Jesus than anything else. I want Him to consume my thoughts, guide my actions, and to be able to practice His constant presence. I want to be fearless of everything but Him, unafraid to look inside so that I can confront my own sin and change. I want to love the things He loves and hate the things He hates. I want to be able respond appropriately as He would, to experience the discomfort in my spirit because His Spirit fills me.

I want to be fearless about what I face in the future because He will be with me, and He knows what is to come, and He has already planned on how to use it for good. I don’t want to hide and if you think I am, please point it out. No more escapes, no running away and no substitutes.