Roby Duke

Roby, a humble genius, has left us for his forever home in heaven. What a gift he was to us!
He was so down to earth, but made heaven so real and accessible. Now that he is actually there, it makes heaven that much more real. His music, his words, his humor, his love... God used these gifts to bring us to closer relationship with Jesus. What more could we ask of a minister of music?

Appendix out

I started to feel sick on December 3. I was in pain for 3 days before making a doctor appointment. I thought I had just pulled a muscle in my abdomen. While trying to get out the door to get to the appointment, I passed out, and husband found me, and got me to the doctor. He called an ambulance and I was on my way to the hospital. I was out of surgery by 9:30 PM on December 6. It had "burst" and was gangrenous, according to the surgeon.

The ambulance ride was fun, but it was all downhill after that. The hospital stay was not as much fun as my two c-sections 25 and 28 years ago. This recovery has been much harder than I expected. I have not felt like doing much of anything. Christmas was a bit of a blur, but I did have some fun and some joyous moments. Stayed at cousin Marie's house for some time after coming home from the hospital. Spent some time with her son and his new fiancé from Italy. That was a bright spot in the month for me. The wedding is in July in Genoa. Would love to attend.

I have a lot to look forward to. I have my own daughter's wedding to look forward to in the fall. Renee and Jason will be married on September 19, 2008. That will be fun to celebrate.

So, I am on the mend at this point, and will be starting my independent study of Genesis and Pentateuch studies as soon as my textbook commentary arrives. I'll be back to work on January 2, ready or not. I'm looking forward to that.

In a weird coincidence, my mother's appendix flared up while I was in the hospital a few weeks ago. She was put on strong antibiotics and it has settled down, but will need to come out in early January.

Aunt Mary Cherry

What was it like to say goodbye to Aunt Mary?

It was incredibly poignant at this time of year because Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is here. I will remember many Christmas eves at her house filled with family and presents and food. She was fighting for life even during that last rough night, but she was ready to go with Jesus spiritually. She went to bed saying, "Well, Jesus, maybe this is the night I'll see you." then woke up the next morning and said, "I guess not!" I didn’t want to have her suffer like she did that last night, but I comfort myself by believing that it meant something to God in the next world, or she would not have. She taught us how to suffer and still have fun. She started all the water fights that I have ever been a part of. She taught me how to cook.

When she got her second cancer, she acted as though she won a prize. She asked for Sharon’s meatballs or Mary’s roast beef from her refrigerator in the middle of the night in the hospital just a few hours before she died. Marie was trying to keep her mind off the pain, so she asked a question, “who was that we saw who blessed you.” Aunt Mary lifted off her oxygen mask and answered her as though it was a Sunday afternoon. She has been my model for so many things, and now she is my model for dying. She truly expressed in her own way, “To live is Christ; to die is gain.” I was blessed to have her for an Aunt who has loved me from the beginning.

My cousin Mark died a couple weeks ago. He was 52. I didn't know him well, but he was loved by many and will be missed by his close family. We all knew about each other and saw each other at weddings and funerals. We all acknowledge the stories about our shared grandparents and we appreciate that we come from "good stock." Then we lament that our lives are so busy and we can't see each other often. Aunt Mary, upon hearing the news of Mark's death, said, "Well, I can't die now, it would be too hard on the family." But at 94, I guess she didn't have much say in when her appointment was. I would love to see her enjoying heaven and the presence of God. She got the MOST joy out of the simplest things. If you came home from a restaurant with an extra crab cake for her, she savored it and claimed it was the best crab cake that she had ever had in her life. I think she meant it too. We were all her favorites. She told us all the time. She was our matriarch, and I will never forget her. She was at all of my birthdays and she will be on the greeting committee when I cross over to the other side. This I know.

Dad

My dad is not doing too well. He was told it was time to go on dialysis and has refused. They stabilized him at the hospital and sent him home. He's deteriorating rapidly, but of course, no one knows how long he has. Could be a week, or a couple months. So, instead of waiting till October as planned, Stephen and the family came from Kentucky this past weekend. He looks terrible to me, pale and exhausted from just breathing. He has a visiting nurse, and she is great. we talked about diet and water restriction and getting to the bathroom. Hospice evaluated him, but not on duty yet, not yet because then he can't see his regular doctors. He's on oxygen. Has a couple of tanks, one for getting to the bathroom. He gets winded so fast. It is hard to believe in that context that we could tell funny stories. It was a wake with dad there.

When I first arrived, dad was watching Patch Adams. It was the part where Robin Williams is dressed like an angel and gave a 5 minute definition of death. I'll have to insert that monologue into another post. It was surreal to say the least.

He knows that he is on his way to death, but he is still talking about seeing the ophthalmologist to see about getting eye surgery in the other eye. That's not going to happen.

All the siblings were together today, all day. We had a really nice chicken dinner, sort of an early thanksgiving. It was a great time telling stories, playing with Carter, Kelly and Jack and taking pictures. The weather was perfect. Taking walks, teaching Kelly (7) to blow bubblegum bubbles. I gave them each a book and a refrigerator magnet that I had made. We will not forget this day for many years. I made them all copies of the watercolor that I did of the family icons, the things that were just always there for so many years because they didn't redecorate. The lamp, the clock, stuff like that. They all loved it. I started a second one and there will probably be a third in a series. Everything was so poignant. I might make something with just dad's sayings on it.

I got nothing done on my schoolwork, so I am taking a personal day tomorrow to finish one paper and get some reading done for my upcoming class October 6.

This semester is going to be so interesting with this death as a backdrop. the core is Marriage and Family and we'll be doing genealogies, looking at our families of origin, and then Forgiveness on Saturdays. This should be good. Stay tuned.

Disintgrating while Integrating

I got my first bad report from the doctor last week. I had been suffering some swelling in my legs and angles this summer. I finally went to the doctor about it when the otc aqua ban didn't do the trick. He put me on a very effective water pill, and sent me off for some blood work. He doesn't think it is my heart or my kidneys, but that my veins are disintegrating and leaking and not doing their job. So. It's good news really, even though no one wants to hear that they are disintegrating. The irony here is that I have never been more integrated in my character in my life. This is a good discovery and it signals the beginning of old age. Because of the grace of God and the opportunity that I have attending school, I am acquiring wisdom. People close to me say that I have changed. (am in process of changing) Being conformed to the image of Christ. That pain that I feel is me dying to self. That's a good thing.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." 2Cor 4:16

What I did on my summer vacation

All I did was school and study. It was a fruitful summer and I get emotional, overwhelmed, just thinking about what God has done with this particular character. I am about to finish my last paper of the summer. My last course. I should wrap up all of the assignments by this weekend so I can have a few days of rest before the fall classes start. My parking pass is purchased, I'm registered and paid up, books are in my possession and I have even started reading them. I am looking forward to seeing everyone. I did read the syllabus and the amount of work is daunting, but I am starting to get used to that idea and just apply the Nehemiah principle. One thing at a time and organize the tasks. If I just stay as disciplined as I have been this summer, I will be able to do this.

The time this summer flew. It will be remembered as the summer without a break. But also the summer of amazing growth. I will never look upon the Word of God the same. In addition to a Biblical and Theological overview, I will most especially remember for life the books of Luke and 1Thessalonians, two books I have personally researched and camped out in for much of this summer. Although I did not see many people, my companions were the Lord Jesus, Luke the physician, and Paul the Apostle. It was a good summer. I'm exhausted, but happy.

A day in the life of a student...

Yesterday morning I listened to one of my podcasts at random. it was about the controversial passages at the end of the gospel of Mark and the explanation that scripture can indeed be trusted and why so. I get to work, and I phoned one of my professors for the class I am taking in August to ask a question about one of the pre-assignments. He answers my question and I dig into the assignment at my lunch hour. My task was to dig into the book of Jonah, chapter 2.. find whatever I could. That was 2PM when I finished that. At 3PM, a friend needed a 15 minute counseling session. Counselee reported that she felt that she was trapped inside a vacuum. The very thing that I needed to say was from the second chapter of Jonah. THe exact very thing.

AT 5PM, I finished work and ducked inside a conference room where I attend distance learning class via DVD. I am on session #7 out of 13. This session was a huge discussion on the controversial passages in the book of Matthew and whether or not they belong or were added later since they are not in some early manuscripts. So I start and end the day with a discussion of controversial passages in the gospels. I am not entirely sure why yet, but it has to do with God wanting me to trust Him and His word for everything. Nothing is random. I chose my courses months ago. I chose a random podcast that morning, and I am on an individualized schedule of watching the dvds for class. and yet, they were incredibly related.

My professors must be praying for me. I have not yet met either one of them.