What Else Can One Do?

I'm finding that the Lord has changed me. I'm sensing more integrity of character.
I dont know what was wrong before exactly, but I know I am more industrious, less lazy. I have more cheer, a better attitude. More competence, more confidence. Seems as though I am seeing clearly. Ironic though isnt it?...as my eyes are fading, and my body has less energy. I'm an enigma, wrapped in a mystery and served on a bed of rice. Or lettuce. I forget how that really goes.

At work, the hard part is finished. We have moved and I have done a major physical work. Unpacking the cubes of those who are out on disability for some reason. We have two men in our department. None of these young male muscles were available today for the hard part. One called in sick, the other was just useless. Unpacked his own files and then sat down. How much more respect I would have for him if he unpacked the files of others. But No. The work was done by overweight middle aged women who have some serious physical problems. One needs double knee and ankle surgery, and huffs and puffs just walking a few feet. The always-on-Monday-sick weight lifter type actually had his files unpacked by a very small older woman who is about to retire.

Sometimes I wish I was naive like before and couldn't see so clearly.

Women's Ministry
My dear friend Lorraine brought up the subject of women's ministry today at breakfast. "Funny you should say that." I was just thinking about why I dont like ministry specially designed for women. Perhaps the Lord wants me to look at this more closely. I recounted a story to Lorraine about the time I taught women's ministry at my old church, Freedom. I taught on the place of good works in our eternal life. I cited and referenced and studied and presented well. Then found out after a year that that lesson threatened the pastor. He told me that I was like a "first year resident doing heart surgery." Shocked at the time, but now I see more clearly what that was all about. They just wanted fluff for the women. Nothing of substance. Shortly after that incident I attended the Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia. It was like a Queen for A Day pageant, one sob story after the other. Then LOTS of products to buy during each break. No real substance. Plenty of emotion.

Today after work, I stopped to get coffee cream at the market. Ran into someone who recognized me from Calvary Chapel. That usually doesnt happen, especially near my home, we were about 40 minutes away from church. Her name is Kay and we met at women's ministry. That is a positive about Women's ministry. You can meet and get to know other women. I had this Women's ministry discussion with Jill last week too. What does the Lord want me to do? If I approached the leaders at Calvary and suggested I would like a leadership position, I MIGHT get to be a co-facilitator of a group. But I want to teach. IF I became famous for having suffered some public tragedy like nursing my saved, serving husband through a long illness followed by a "negative patient outcome" and he had a visible place in the church, I would get to be a speaker. Here's how that "teaching" goes.

I have suffered. Let me tell you how I have suffered. Oh how I have suffered.
But God... insert scripture here....more bible verses....more....
and about 10 more. (I hope you are taking notes.)
OH I am still suffering, but God is here.
"Thou He SLAY ME....." the end. Now for a SONG.

Unless my teaching fits into that template, I will not be able to do this.
Unless my husband is high profile saved, I will be invisible.
Women who are divorced or married to an unsaved man, invisible in the church.

Oh and if I have to sit through that story one more time about how Ruth Bell Graham never thought of divorcing her famous husband.... punchline goes, "Divorce NO, murder YES." I will just SCREAM and run out.

And if ONE more person says IPeter 3 to me I will SMACK them. No kidding. Stoppit.

OH, here's another favorite. "you know, you make a lousy Holy Ghost."
yeah, I know.